I wish I was the person that other people see. I wish i really was a bubbly, happy, positive, confident, daring, brave, quick witted, even moderately beautiful. 'the whole package'.
I'm not. today I feel like a total fraud. the smallest things make me upset. make me feel worthless, alone, abandoned, ugly.
I'm not half the person you think I am. not even a quarter.
pathetic.
this is what's in my brain on a daily basis. there's so many more people that are 'better' than I am. I'm just a speck of shit on the shoe of someone better.
and then i'm told i'm to be 'indifferent' to 'stupid things' and that my feelings are 'irrational'.
I can't change it- it's just the way I feel.
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